Letter #27: Nevertheless

 Good morning, Erin.
 
I’ve mentioned to you before (in passing) that I have a terrible habit of eventually finding myself drawn to things I initially laugh off or reject. I’m sure it’s some twisted kind of defense mechanism against… something, though what that something is I could not even begin to guess, since—as I have just noted—I will just eventually find myself drawn to it anyway, only at a slightly later date.
 
And it’s not like it’s ever anything super-duper bad, either, just TV shows or comic books or video games or girls I know I shouldn’t date or whatever else typically gains all of my attention to the detriment of…of…l-literally everything else in…my…
 
…huh.
 
Point is Netflix tried to tempt me with this show, repeatedly, and I absolutely rejected it each time. So, of course, in the day-long run-up to going home and starting Mr. Sunshine—like I had planned—my brain kept saying, “maybe there’s that other show maybe” until I could think of nothing else and…well.
 
[deep breath]
 
So, yeah, let’s…let’s talk about Nevertheless.
 
1. I want to apologize to Hee-do for choosing Princess My Name over her. Because I didn’t, but I know it looks like I did.
 
2. Also: Princess My Name is the female lead, in this. And she gets to smile, for once! Which, I gotta say, is a nice change. She’s always desperate and sneering, when I see her.
 
3. Actually, speaking of smiling, the male lead—who I will call Butterfly Boy (because he really, really, really, really, really likes butterflies…and the visual metaphors are painfully in-your-face about it)—pretty much opens with basically that exact sentiment…and it makes me kind of sad, because he’s an absolute scumbag, but she really does look totally different when she smiles.
 
3A. To that point: I don’t know what it is about her, but for as pretty as Princess My Name obviously is, she just doesn’t do it for me. She doesn’t have to, of course, it’s just one of those things, y’know? Or maybe it’s her cheekbones. Whatever, who cares, keep this in the back of your mind when I get into the #bestgirl stuff, later on.
 
3B. Also: butterflies are hideous and terrifying.
 
4. Speaking of Hee-do, though…Hee-do’s mom is the art professor, in this. That’s a fun coincidence.
 
5. This show is f***ing weird. Like, our main duo (Princess My Name and Butterfly Boy) spends the series wandering through a turbulent, destructive sex-driven relationship, while the rest of the cast spends 10 episodes having a series of delightful romcom escapades. It’s such tonal discordance.
 
5A. And I really want to emphasize: the non-main characters and their stories are genuinely great fun. If this show had just been a slice-of-life about what happened to them in the last couple of months leading up to their art exhibition (…they’re art students), this would probably have scored pretty high up on my overall list. They’re all so likable and pleasantly flawed, and no one is a big rapey jerk. It’s great.
 
5B. …except the one instance of fake-dating cliché only lasts for, like, a minute. Which is a bummer.
 
5C. But while I’m not going to get into details about the minor characters’ stories, in case you haven’t seen this one and may want to give it a shot, I am absolutely going to spoil (perhaps just broadly) the main plot, because the main plot can jump in a lake. Just…FYI.
 
6. So…I’m not one to go for overused terminology or ever-fungible post-modernist framings…but I would not fight someone over describing the main relationship as toxic. It’s horrendous. Like, I know K-dramas have some unrealistic tropes that can come off like that if you take them too seriously, but this isn’t that. Butterfly Boy is not just a manwhore, he’s a possessive, manipulative, selfish, presumptuous, rapey jackwad—and before anyone says, “But that’s the point,” and argues that the show is trying to portray a realistic bad-bad-bad relationship, I want to make clear that it isn’t the deliberate invocation of a toxic relationship/abusive boyfriend that’s the problem. The problem is that the show doesn’t seem to want to tell the story of, essentially, addiction, as Princess My Name keeps finding herself pulled back into the temporary high/long-lasting fallout of being with this skeevy bag of bad touching. Or rather, it totally does (as the source material supposedly does exactly that), but it also wants you to find it kinda hot, often looking at the “high” of giving in to his “I’m just going to touch you like I own you even though you just told me you don’t want me doing that but I’m handsome so it’s fine” bull**** with this romanticized, eroticized gleam, as though we’re watching two people in an emotionally equal, carefully outlined, openly consented-to game.
 
6B. I’m just saying: you can’t do “raw and realistic” and “naughty and fantastical” at the same time. One has at least one of the sexual partners feeling gross and depressed over the state of things, and the other presupposes that all participants are quietly putting on a façade that something bad it happening when they’re really both down to playact the “abuse.” So, like, in the first case, someone is hurting someone else with his actions. And then, in the second case, he’s doing the exact same things, but she’s only pretending to be upset because she wants to appear opposed to it but inside really, really wants it.
 
6C. And I want to make it clear: I am far less concerned that this dude is a scumbag than that the show tries to make him sympathetic without changing his core awfulness. Like, imagine writing about a heroin addict and saying, “Yes, but don’t judge the drugs too harshly—we still have to hear the heroin’s side of the story.” I’m more than fine with mature or complex or even controversial subject matter, but don’t try to trick me into thinking something that’s obviously not true is true.
 
6D. …which is not to say that Princess My Name is free of all blame, let me just say. Particularly by the time we get to the end, she’s brought a lot of this on herself—like, actively sought it out, rather than found herself the victim of something.
 
6E. The worst part of all, of course, is that THESE TWO GET TOGETHER IN THE END. Yeah, that’s right: rather than choose “perfect boyfriend” childhood friend Mr. Noodle Man (who, admittedly, enters the story way too late) who makes her feel good, she picks skeevy Butterfly Boy—knowing it’s a mistake—because he says he’s changed. And no—this isn’t the thought-provoking end of a tragic story where the addict can’t get past her addiction. No no no…this is the happy ending the show gives us: abuser and abused strolling down the street, hand-in-hand, finally truly together as boyfriend and girlfriend, not just dude-who-says-he-can-bang-whoever-and-she-doesn’t-own-him and chick-who-doesn’t-want-him-sleeping-around-and-is-definitely-owned-by-him-despite-not-wanting-to-be.
 
6F. But the big problem is that the entire justification for the “happy ending” comes down to one line in Butterfly Boy’s inner monologue as he stands by himself in the rain after Princess My Name tells him off and goes home: “I'm the one who ruined everything.” It’s supposed to be his moment of redemptive character growth. Which, fine, lightbulb finally went off that he’s a degenerate, good for him. But, assuming that’s true, what might now make sense to him, personally, does not reflect—nor have time to reflect—in the narrative. Whatever sins he may have committed prior to this can technically be forgiven, but he has to earn it in the story and be seen by the audience before any character change/growth can be accepted as true. Which is impossible to do in one episode (after nine episodes of him being a total nob)—particularly if the end goal is not just proof of intent but full-on success. The Butterfly Boy that wins, in the end, is just the same old version with the hope of a new perspective, not yet a new version of him that has actually made that change. An alcoholic who has decided he needs help is not the same as an alcoholic who has worked to be sober for 10 years and should not be treated as such.
 
6G. And no—that’s not how the source material ends. They changed it for the show. Like a pack of ravenous Twilight tweens who are so distracted by “handsome boy is paying attention to me” that nothing else matters.
 
7. For the record, though, I can’t decide if I hate Butterfly Boy or 100-Day Prince more. I mean, at least 100-Day Prince wasn’t prone to inappropriate touching. So, rather than pick, I vote they both get put in a raft and set adrift in the sea.
 
8. Oh, and there’s this whole thread where Princess My Name hates her mom for being (if I may speak expediently) promiscuous, and the show doesn’t do anything with the parallel between mother and daughter and their obviously shared taste in the wrong kind of guy.
 
8A. …or, if it’s trying to be subtle with it by not drawing overt attention to the parallel, this is the one instance where the show isn’t loudly pointing to the subtext.
 
9. To wit: remember the bit in Vincenzo with the hair? How it symbolizes whether he’s more mafia or more “good guy”? Well, Nevertheless does something like that…but it has a conversation about it. Twice. And then another flashback to the first conversation about it.
 
10. Y’know, this is the first time I’ve seen Princess My Name in something where she isn’t playing a strong-willed or tough character, and so I kept expecting her to punch Butterfly Boy in his stupid face, every time he got handsy with her. But…no. So disappointing.
 
11. …wait, I forgot she has a brontosaurus plushie on her nightstand. Which is the best dinosaur. So, okay, never mind—I’m back on board. We love you, Princess My Name! You don’t need this stupid jerkface and his stupid jerk face! I promise to be so much nicer to you! And, y’know, I can learn to think you’re as pretty as everyone else does! Probably!
 
12. And, let me just say, everyone thinks she’s gorgeous, on this show. Everyone. I think there’s maybe one male character who doesn’t fall instantly in love with her, and that’s only for his own subplot reasons.
 
13. Which reminds me: there’s a significant plot point that revolves around someone arguing that one of my favorite characters isn’t pretty (as one of the other characters insists she is), and I’m once again like, “Do any of you know what it means to be pretty? How is this girl not pretty?” I dunno, maybe she wasn’t “Suzy” enough for them.
 
14. Perhaps unrelatedly: Sol is #BestGirl. No question.
 
15. …which ain’t no easy thing, by the way, ‘cus  you know who else is in this? Excessive English Girl from A Business Proposal! (Y’know, the best friend’s cousin?) She doesn’t have a lot to do, but she’s around the whole time, and she’s great.
 
16. Oh! And also from A Business Proposal: Secretary Brother Guy! He’s only there for a minute, but it’s still fun to see him.
 
17. There may have been a fake Hyundai symbol, at one point, but I’m not sure. So, by default, I’m pouting about the lack of Hyundais.
 
18. Oh, here’s a cliché I actually don’t like: playing Truth-or-Dare to stir the emotional pot and force characters to admit who likes who. (Which, of course, is all Truth-or-Dare is ever really about. Which is also why I don’t like it as a party game. It never ends with everyone having had a light, fun time. It always ends in disaster.) It’s so lazy. And it pretends that it isn’t, because this is just what the game is for in real life, but that doesn’t make it any less lazy.
 
18A. And no, I’m not fun at parties. How did you know?
 
19. The product placement in this series is nowhere near up to snuff. If they’re not eating at a Subway, are they even doing it right? No. The answer is no.
 
20. …that said, there’s an awesome product placement moment in Episode 7 where a girl gives a guy some kind of energy jelly or whatever, but it’s done as a way to flirt with him. It’s both totally a commercial but also fits exactly into the story, at that moment. It was impressive.
 
21. Oh, and there’s some kind of drink in a can, at one point, that’s either real or made up for the show. But the brand is called Squick, which…I mean, in English, it’s slang for something that makes you want to vomit from disgust, so this is either a clever gag or an unfortunate marketing decision.
 
22. Daryl, circa Episode 3: “I don’t like this Goth Girl Friend of Princess My Name. And, like, the show wants me to think she’s hot, but I’m not falling for it.”
 
23. Daryl, circa Episode 5, after Goth Girl Friend changes the streaks in her hair to blonde, changes her outfits to preppy-punk, and puts her hair up in twin ponytails: “…dammit.”
 
24. Daryl, circa Episode 5, but 15 minutes later: “No, wait—Goth Girl Friend hates mint chocolate chip ice cream, which is the best ice cream. Okay, she’s back off my list!”
 
24A. …but you know who loves mint chocolate chip ice cream, on the show? Excessive English Girl! So, she’s totally going on my K-drama girlfriends list, now.
 
25. There’s some talk about getting dumped, later in the show, and it reminded me that the first time I got dumped was in 7^th grade. At a religious retreat. (I mean, I say “dumped,” but I mean whatever the 7^th grade equivalent to it is.) It was an overnight trip. It was not a fun time.
 
25A. …except we got to paddle boats in a lake, which was rad. And also we watched Speed. Which was also rad.
 
26. Oh, so, remember how I said the characters are all art students? Well, one of the ways the show likes to remind you of that is to have everyone have a photo of Michelangelo’s Pieta on the wall. Which…I mean, sure, it’s just about the most beautiful sculpture ever, but still.
 
26A. …unless they’re all secretly Italian Catholics, in which case everyone’s grandma has a picture of it on the wall. And a miniature replica on a shelf.
 
27. In one of the more awkward throwaway moments of the show, characters we’ve never seen before are talking to one of the are-they-gonna-get-together romantic duos as a way for the show to prompt a conversation between the romantic duo, in the next scene. Well, anyway, the conversation is about how one of the new characters is going to get married, because she and her boyfriend’s relationship has gotten stagnant, so they need some reason to keep staying together. Which…is a terrible reason to get married. Like, it’s bad enough that people treat it as “fifth base,” but to see it as something to get you out of a rut—or, worse, an excuse not to break up? Goodness me. How is that not going to end in disaster?
 
…which is an odd note on which to end this, I guess, but, nevertheless, there we are.
 
Yeah, so, I was simultaneously not happy and actually really thrilled with this show. As were a lot of people, if my research is correct. Side characters? Great! Toxic relationship nonsense? Not great! Sol is #BestGirl? Of course!
 
(Though, as a side note, I’d like to mention that it genuinely hurt my heart every time a reviewer used the term “gaslighting” incorrectly. Lying or manipulating is not gaslighting. When you gaslight someone, you make him doubt his grip on reality—like, make him think he can’t trust his basic senses and his memory. It’s a very specific term.)
 
Anyway. The plan is to jump into Mr. Sunshine, but who’s to say what will happen when I actually sit down to do it, again.
 
Whatever it is, though, it can’t make me shout at the TV more than this, right?
 
…r-right?
 
--Daryl
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
P.S. – So, remember how YouTube was recommending me videos of Asian girls playing guitar because I watch your videos? Well, having not changed my viewing habits to their liking, YouTube has decided its new pitch is Asian girls reacting to movies and TV shows. Which is funny, on the one hand, but also really creepy, on the other. Like, I get that I look up K-drama stuff and anime stuff, but I find it kind of icky that the Great & Powerful Algorithm decided my lack of regard for its recommendations meant it just needed to change up the kind of Asian girl-based content it tossed out at me. I mean, I totally clicked on an Iron Man reaction video and had a good time with it, but that doesn’t make it right!