Letter #43: Inspector Koo

Good morning, Erin.
 
If there is one thing we have established in the almost-year that you and I have been doing this, it’s that—first and foremost—I have your sister’s best interests at heart.
 
Don’t watch Inspector Koo. You tell her from me. 
 
Anyway:
 
1. Um…yeah, Inspector Koo is a terrible show. It’s dull, it tries too hard, it thinks it’s slicker than it actually is, it’s more a pastiche of a modern Sherlock Holmes-y detective story than actually clever—basically it’s Cafe Minamdang without the sexy cast members who give you an excuse to keep watching. Big ol’ do not recommend. 
 
2. Seriously, I was going to stop watching about halfway through the first episode, except there’s actually a clever hook (well, narrative choice more than hook) just at that moment that pretty much kept me locked in until the end of the episode. And then I was going to stop after Ep 3 or 4, but…I dunno, for some reason I didn’t. No, I stuck it out for the whole 12 episodes—so you don’t have to. 
 
3. In my defense, I assumed the show would be different, when I went into it…and then, after an episode or two, I thought it was just being slow in getting to the cat-and-mouse portion of the story. Which is not the case. (Again: give it a pass.)
 
3A. Other shows you might want to consider in the hopes of getting what you’d like to get from Inspector Koo but won’t: the Death Note anime; the Benedict Cumberbatch Sherlock series (or maybe just the Moriarty episodes); the first two seasons of Hannibal; and this pretty great Korean show called Vincenzo. 
 
4. Speaking of Sherlock Holmes, though: they try to do this Holmes/Moriarty thing with Inspector Koo and the killer, and it absolutely does not work. Like, they go for ALL the cliches (and I mean all of them, if you know your Sherlock lore), and they all fall flat. 
 
5. THAT SAID…the show does this clever thing of extending that Holmes/Moriarty thing into more than just that one relationship dynamic, and it results in this great maiden/mother/crone structure. Which the show does absolutely nothing with. But, hey, at least it’s there. (You gotta take your victories where you can find them, Erin.)
 
6. Speaking of the killer: she’s actually quite charismatic, at least for a while. And she has this fantastic quirk where she loooooves acting in plays—but she’s terrible at it, because she’s kind of a sociopath and, as such, doesn’t really know how to act like a person. And it’s maybe my favorite thing in the show.
 
7. There’s a gay romance sub-sub-plot that’s 10-times more interesting than the entire rest of the show. I was way more invested in that than the murder mystery. (Which is a strike at the overall storytelling, not the romance sub-sub-plot, which I thought was really good.)
 
8. Not strictly to do with the show, but very much to do with this letter about the show: if I’m home when I write to you (as I am now), I’ve got the TV on to keep me company but my headphones on to help keep me focused. Usually it’s a show I’ve seen a couple of times which I’m pretty sure won’t distract me and some kind of lo-fi or (if I want to feel a little more jazzed) dubstep mix. Well, tonight, it’s Lofi Girl’s Cozy Winter mix and, on the TV, my new favorite thing: a YouTube video of someone walking through a snow shower at night. (In this case, it’s a guy walking through Seoul, which I thought was appropriate.) Because I love snowfall at night. I love glancing up from whatever I’m doing and seeing the snow through the window, as I’m snuggled up on the couch or reading in bed. And this gives me that effect—without the looming threat of having to dig out my car. So…thanks, internet!
 
9. I mentioned the show not being as clever as it thinks it is, and that extends to its cinematography choices, which…ugh. Imagine the surreal or whimsical shots from A Business Proposal but without any of the artistic sense that made those moments feel appropriate in that series. It’s all just an imitation of quirkiness, here. And I hate it. 
 
10. So many scenes just flat-out go on for too long. Like, there’s a chase scene, at one point, that lasts for what feels like 10 minutes. I don’t have any idea why. It doesn’t benefit the story or help us learn anything (character-wise, I mean). But we spend a lot of time with it. And two characters who should obviously represent South Korea in an Olympic marathon. ‘Cus they go all-out for a looooooong time.
 
11. There are a ton of instances where characters have to act like total morons for the killer to seem like a total genius. And, when that becomes untenable, they make her as strong as Captain America.
 
11A. And, eventually, reality stops operating by normal rules so the plot can keep going. Sigh.
 
12. The soundtrack to the show sounds like Korean covers of ‘90s alt-rock songs. Like Oasis and The Dandy Warhols had a baby. But way less cool than that obviously sounds. 
 
13. Let’s just say this is apropos of nothing…but: there’s a latch in car trunks in the unlikely event you ever get trapped in one. It’s a little handle on a metal string. And it glows in the dark. It’s…hard to miss.
 
14. Lots of Hyundais. Which is never a bad thing. 
 
15. And let’s wrap things up with ye olde list o’ folks I know:

• the building manager friend from Vincenzo as Inspector Koo’s husband

• Ms. Choi from Hotel Del Luna (who looks great!) as the killer’s aunt

• the writer girl from Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha as a dead man’s wife

• the otaku friend who gets the teacher in 18 Again as a dead man

• the main evil spirit from The Uncanny Counter as the killer’s assistant

• the dopey It’s Okay patient as the gardener/guard (…or guardener, if you will)

• Grandma from Start-Up as…I dunno what she was, exactly—except nothing like Grandma

 
Which is all I have to say about that. 
 
…well, aside from my final written note, which is: “F*** YOU, SHOW. Absolutely jump in a lake.” Which I only mention because I think it’s funny. 
 
So, yeah. No me gusta. And I can’t imagine you or your sister would either. 
 
Next time, something better. And more in keeping with my Phase II theme of crushing on Jung So-min supernatural-y stuff. 
 
Hope all is well. And, should you read this in a timely fashion…Happy Thanksgiving. 
 
—Daryl