Letter #50: Single's Inferno 2

Good morning, Erin.
 
I’ve watched Single’s Inferno 2, and you need to take responsibility for this. 
 
Because here I am, listening to 15 hours of podcasts about it, watching “best moments” compilations on YouTube, and scrolling through social media hashtags for what people are saying—and I don’t even use social media. 
 
I refused to sleep until I caught up, even though the final two episodes were still days away. I put off the finale of Alchemy of Souls 2. I had to bring out blankets and pillows to hide behind because the ones I already had weren’t enough to get me past some of the tenser moments. 
 
You gave me this task and then left me here with no one to talk to about it? No. No no no. This isn’t gonna fly—I am dying, over here. 
 
So, yeah, no apologies for how awkward and weird mailing you something is, this time. Shame went out the window the second I clicked on this show.
 
Now, strap in, ‘cus we are gonna go over ALL OF IT.
 
1. I want to start with some context: I don’t watch reality shows. With one or two very minor exceptions, I never have. Beyond whether or not I have any interest in them, I have a really big issue with second-hand embarrassment (like, it was a major effort on my part to get through seasons of The Office, let me tell you), and I don’t do well with watching people deal with this kind of awkward tension. It literally triggers my fight-or-flight response, and I often have to run to another room and pace around for a bit, psych myself up to go back into the episode. (Admitting which gives me first-hand embarrassment, of course, but I can deal with that!) So…keep that in mind. Only for you do I do this. 
 
1A. “But didn’t you say you already wanted to wat—”  
 
I SAID ONLY FOR YOU, ERIN.
 
2. You undoubtedly want to hear what I thought of everyone, so I’m going to list the cast in the the order in which they arrived—boys first, so you can take some time to figure out who I thought was #BestGirl. (Which is either going to be a big surprise or not a surprise at all. But I’ll be curious to know if you can guess based on what you know about me. Which will either help or not help. I dunno. I mean, maybe I’m just like everyone else who watched. Or maybe I’m the one person on the planet who likes Min-su.)
 
2A. So, let’s go over my impressions of the boys:

• Jong-woo: I have to admit, I went a little up-and-down on him. He started as pretty much my top pick of the guys, then his absolute inability to read the emotional situation of LITERALLY ANYTHING sort of had me rolling my eyes about how much of a simpleton he seemed to be, but then I ultimately came back around to pull for him big time in his quest to win Seul-ki’s heart. But am I glad that he won? Well…that’s something I’ll get to in a bit.

• Yoong-jae: I didn’t have much of an opinion of him, at the start, though there was this nagging feeling in the back of my head that I was wary of him. His inability to more definitely tell So-e he wasn’t into her bothered me a lot, but his whole subplot with Seo-eun is admittedly something to behold. How can you stay mad at a guy who’s part of that duo? Well…I’ll get to that, as well.

• Han-bin: What a doll. This is exactly the kind of dude you want in any social group because he’s got that natural energy and positivity that sets everyone at ease. That no one saw fit to make moves on him doesn’t make a lick of sense. (I mean, sure, it makes sense in that there are never guarantees with romantic interest, but…still! He’s great!)

• Dong-woo: According to my notes, my first impression was “um…has a square head?” which is probably about as much thought as I spared him. Except to loudly declare, “Oh, f*** off, Dong-woo,” when he attempted to reinsert himself into the whole Seul-ki situation, towards the end of the show. I don’t know how he thought he could pull back from how much he borked their date in Paradise. 

• Jin-young: I was never on the Jin-young train, and it was a little frustrating that just about every girl was OBSESSED with him (in the same way it was annoying that everyone wanted a piece of Seul-ki), but I didn’t turn against him until his jealousy cracked his “mysterious cool guy” shell and yet somehow still couldn’t just tell Seul-ki she was the only one on his mind. Not that I wanted them to end up together, but…come on. This isn’t tough. 

• Se-jun: Find me someone who isn’t in love with this guy. You can’t. And he’s easily the funniest member of the cast. The only downside to him is that he wasn’t there from the start. Which, in and of itself, is probably for the best (which we’ll probably get into), but…again, who didn’t want more Se-jun? 

 
2B. And now for the girls:

• Seul-ki: My initial notes on her say that I thought she was quiet and “pretty, I guess,” but also that I wasn’t impressed with how “whatever a nice word for ‘vapid’ is” she was. I didn’t think there was much personality to her and that everything built up around her was entirely about her looks. The show wanted her to be the main focus, which I found annoying—though, ultimately, less because of her than because I didn’t think that whole love triangle/“triangle” was especially interesting. However, once we got to the date with Jong-woo in Paradise, I really came around on her, because I think that was the first (and perhaps only) instance of Seul-ki acting like what I assume is much closer to her actual personality. (Though I still wish we’d spent less time on her.)

• Se-jeong: Whoever referred to her as “girl crush” was right. The minute she came out, I said, “Big nope from me.” Waaaaaay too intimidating. Or possibly high maintenance. Just her whole vibe was immediately a no from me. She’s clearly super-hot, and she certainly went up in my esteem as she just sort of rolled with the (slightly less inexplicable than Han-bin’s) consistent snubs. In the end, I thought she seemed kinda cool, I guess, but still way more daunting a prospect than I’d ever have wanted to deal with, were I on the island. 

• So-e: Did you guess that So-e was gonna be my girl? Because she 100% was #BestGirl, and I fell in love with her the absolute moment she stepped on screen. I mean, super-cute, particularly in the all-important (to me) you-could-meet-her way. Loved her whole vibe. (Introvert who lets out all the energy inside by acting/dancing? Yes please. I’m all about it.) And if I’d been on the island, I would have been nothing but all-in on her. From the start. Like, Se-jeong could tan in her bikini all she wanted, but my eyes would be glued to So-e, in an oversized sweatshirt, journaling. I might not have made it through the show, had she not caught my eye so soon after the episode started. And as far as “subplots” go…nothing beats hers. Plus, she’s short. Which I like. 

• Nadine: I still can’t be certain Nadine is a real person. I don’t think “too good for this show” even begins to cover her whole…everything. Exceptionally bright, accomplished, hardworking, gorgeous (if not to my particular tastes), and loves sports, guns, and fast cars? What? This has got to be a trick, right? When she finally meets a guy who is worthy of her, I assume it will rupture the space-time continuum, because there’s no way that much awesomeness can safely exist in one place at the same time. She didn’t just deserve better—she deserves the best.

• Seo-eun: Golly, she’s cool. Mature, poised, relaxed, and level-headed. And when she pulls a face for the camera…wowza. I mean, not standing ovation-levels of wowza, but, while I spent much of the show not really understanding what everyone was gaga over, every now and then she’d put an exaggerated look on her face and—for just a moment—capture my heart. She was sort of the other side of the Han-bin coin, in a lot of ways: the girl you want in your social group because she keeps everyone calm and clear-eyed. Once she was essentially paired off with Yoong-jae, she didn't have much to contribute to the show, which was a bummer, but…well, again, she and Yoong-jae were a heck of a thing to witness. 

• Min-su: Oh, yeah, she was on the show, too, wasn’t she. Um…generic girl? Really, I’m just glad she f***ed with Jin-young’s ability to chat up Seul-ki. Outside of that, I could not have cared less about her. 

 
2C. “But Daryl, you barely-believable lady’s man,” I hear you say, “if the rules say you couldn’t choose So-e a second time for a trip to Paradise, which of the girls would you have hoped to pair up with, even if only to get to know her better?” Well, my immediate thought is that I’d throw a second matchup to stay behind on Inferno with her, but…if I’m going to answer in the spirit of the question…gosh, I’m not thrilled to think this is the answer, but…Seul-ki? I mean, it would depend on whether I felt any level of comfort with any of the non-So-e girls, obviously, but just going off of what we see, I’d probably have to pick between Seo-eun and Seul-ki, and it would come down to whether I would feel like Seo-eun was judging me (not because she was judgy but because I would be afraid she’d see right through me) or if Seul-ki could actually let me talk to her and not her facade. That Seul-ki doesn’t really drink works for me, though, so…there’s that.
 
2D. …but I’d be open to going with Se-jun. If that’s an option. Like, as bros. O-Obviously. 
 
3. I really liked that the show’s hosts were basically just doing reaction commentary for the series. I thought that was a fun way to do it. 
 
4. I picked up on this pretty early on, but a dead-on tell that people were uncomfortable when having a casual chat was to see if they put pillows on their laps. Yes, it was cold, and, yes, the girls didn’t want their skirts going up or whatever other trick the pillows allow, but 9 times out of 10 they use those pillows to put as much of a barrier between them and the discomfort of the topic of discussion as possible. Y’know, like I was doing THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS WATCHING THIS SERIES.
 
5. I can’t believe that this show was the one that got the switch between languages in the subtitles the most correct, with Nadine’s frequent swapping to English being italicized. Y’know, so there was a visual cue that she wasn’t just speaking Korean the whole time. 
 
6. Oh! I forgot: I recognized the short-haired female host! She was the main girl’s friend who owned the manga cafe in My Love from the Stars. 
 
7. I knew So-e wasn’t going to get a postcard, on the first day, and it still broke my f***ing heart. Those boys are all idiots. 
 
8. Just to point out: I do journal writing every day, too, So-e.
 
9. The people on this island change their clothes as frequently as Ms. Jang does on Hotel Del Luna.
 
10. Speaking of: did you catch that Paradise was literally the hotel where Hotel Del Luna was filmed? I mean, I really only caught it when they went to the amusement park, but I looked it up and it was where pretty much the whole of the hotel scenes were filmed. 
 
11. I absolutely LOVED that So-e and Se-jeong were just standing still and waiting for the other three girls to knock themselves over during the chicken fight. They just exchanged a look and were like, “Yeah, we’re not gonna do this stupid thing.” And good for them.
 
12. I also loved that the whole Seo-eun x Yoong-jae thing started with a happenstance, last-minute conversation before the first date night. Their chemistry was immediately obvious—though I just thought they were very comfortable with each other, more along the lines of friendship than romance, but…I mean, I could clearly see that something was going on.
 
12A. And, in case I haven’t already made this clear: these two are really, really lovely together. 
 
13. …poor Jong-woo and his complete inability to figure out who paired up with whom, that second night. I think I saw someone refer to him as a “himbo,” and I think that’s pretty much it. He’s a purehearted boy, to be sure, but he’s such a dope. 
 
14. Speaking of not picking up signals, can we talk about how embarrassing it was that Dong-woo couldn’t pick up a single goddamn cue from Seul-ki the whole time they were in Paradise? There’s not clicking on a date, and then there’s…whatever disaster that was. 
 
15. Jin-young’s entrance into the tug of war was bombastic and rad—and a tooooootal rig by the production staff. “Yes, we’re going to add him into the mix juuuuust after the rest of you have exhausted yourselves. All very on the up-and-up.” Nonsense. Cool as f*** nonsense. 
 
16. I was initially interested to see how the Jin-young/Seul-ki date was going to play out because they had such a weird dynamic, seemingly so very opposite to each other. Which is why I don’t think they really matched up very well, despite the obvious sparks of sexual tension they had. 
 
16A. Sidebar: it was kind of hilarious to see how effective Jin-young’s unintentional(?) inattentiveness is on Seul-ki. She was, to my mind, probably responding to how unusual this kind of treatment is to her. He wasn’t ignoring her, just not fawning over her. It was like watching a princess with a stablehand. She seemed more than a little out of her depth. 
 
16B. That said…I’d be lying if I didn’t say that giddy/flirty Seul-ki was quite charming. 
 
17. Actually, speaking of flirty: drunk-ish Seo-eun really, really wanted some action from Yoong-jae—on both dates. “Come feel how soft this bed is” was more than a little disingenuous, my dear, and I saw right through it. 
 
18. Also, I am kinda shocked that the couple with that incredible chemistry didn’t lock down what their strategies were going to be for the next round of date-matching. Unless Seo-eun didn’t realize that Han-bin was going to pick her. Which seems unlikely, since he essentially told her that he was going to. And she’s not…well, she’s not Jong-woo. 
 
19. Oh, in case this wasn’t clear: I wrote down everyone’s names at the very start and kept referring back to my list as the show went on, so I actually managed to remember all the names. I’m not saying you should buy me a cookie for this, but I’m also not saying you shouldn’t. 
 
20. My second-favorite thing in this series is So-e and Han-bin being “strikeout buddies.” I wish we’d gotten more of them just palling around and moping about their situations. 
 
21. Similarly, apparently Nadine and Jong-woo were buddies, and we never got any real signs of that. We see them sitting with each other a couple of times, and it feels like either coincidence or that we’re missing something (like when he visits her in the tent so they can jointly do a Rubix cube(?), which is when he sees that Seul-ki has read the poem he gave her). But then they have that very sincere goodbye, and I’m like, “When did…were they strikeout buddies, too?” Where are these clips, Netflix?!
22. Oh, right! Seul-ki earned major points for telling Dong-woo that he lost his chance because he treated her like a kid (and politely leaving out that he was being pushy as f***). I thought that was a great moment for her. 
 
23. It took me a little while to get over thinking Se-jun was a ringer, once he showed up. Because…I mean, frikkin’ look at him! He shows up at the exact moment So-e seems at her lowest, looks like he stepped literally out of an issue of GQ, and immediately falls in love with her? Then he whisks her off to Paradise in, like, 12 hours? The whole thing felt like a setup. It was too perfect. 
 
23A. …but then I watched him with her, and I don’t think I’ve seen someone as smitten with another person in a long time. Like, Seo-eun and Yoong-jae have what they have—but it ain’t Se-jun looking at So-e and blushing like an anime character. 
 
23B. And can we just…so, like, he picks her to go to Paradise, and So-e is so unprepared for this that she’s not even in a particularly fancy outfit. I mean, she’s literally got her hair pulled back in a big, casual scrunchie—which she only remembers and then quietly pulls out of her hair as she’s halfway out to where Se-jun is standing. Sooooo good. 
 
23C. Which is to say nothing of her reaction inside the tent, which starts with that absolutely adorable “huh?” sound she makes, continues with her completely unenthused faux-celebratory facial expression, and then wraps up with the most awkward series of goodbyes to the other girls that made it seem like she was about to visit the dentist. 
 
23D. No, seriously, I loooooooooove these two, and I’ve watched about 80 bajillion YouTube videos of them, which is just the same three scenes over and over in every video, but I don’t care. 
 
24. And can we just once again talk about how hilarious Se-jun is? His first time on camera after he first shows up, he’s just out cold on his bed, and the boys have to physically shake him to wake him up—and, once awake, he puts on his sunglasses. For…why? WHO CARES IT’S HILARIOUS HE’S THE BEST.
 
25. …oh, I get it: 12 contestants, 12 layers of hell in Dante’s Inferno. Very clever, show. 
 
26. Daryl, halfway through Ep 7: “It’s 3:30 AM. There is no cringe. There is no sleep. We must keep alight the inferno.”
 
27. Daryl, halfway through Ep 7 + 5 seconds: “Actually, wait, there’s Jong-woo. I forgot about him. Um, there’s still cringe. But, okay, we can still keep going.”
 
28. The chicken fight was one thing, but this one-on-one wrestling thing the ladies had to do seemed a lot more meanspirited. It wasn’t awful, but I don’t think it’s playful and silly to force people to physically engage each other when their emotions might be high. Run a head-to-head obstacle course? Sure. But to grapple? I dunno, I think that’s asking for trouble.
 
29. So, yeah, I had a REAL f***ing problem with the guys fighting in that pit. ‘Cus there was NEVER going to be anything playful about it with this situation. It was utterly barbaric and uncomfortable to watch. I mean, I’m disinclined to enjoy this kind of thing anyway (boxing? MMA? Not my jam), but I knew IMMEDIATELY that things were going to be waaaaaay too heated with the Battle for Seul-ki that was already going on. Outcome aside, I think this was a DISASTER.
29A. And can anyone explain to me why the plan wasn’t for literally everyone to immediately attack Jin-young as a group? I mean, he lunges for Se-jun (of all people!) first, which should have ended with EVERYONE grabbing him and trying to toss him. He’s clearly the most dangerous guy there, so why in the hell did they just let him dictate the fight? Was it a strategy to let him toss as many people as possible in the hopes of making it to the top three? Was it in the hopes that he’d tucker himself out by keeping him on offense? I just don’t get it. He’s the threat, so, like, EVERYONE should want him out of the way to increase their chances.
 
29B. And, like, at a certain point, I was wondering if Dong-woo was almost protecting Jong-woo (and himself) by attacking him early on and basically forcing them both to the ground, because they were both safest being ostensibly in a grapple others couldn’t get into and, just generally, by staying low. But, no, he just assumed he’d be an easy target in his totally fruitless attempt to re-woo Seul-ki.
 
29C. Which brings me to f***ing Yoong-jae, who, as soon as it came down to Jong-woo vs. Jin-young for who would be higher in the final three, TEAMS UP WITH JIN-YOUNG to toss Jong-woo?! I was SCREAMING at my TV, when this happened. What an absolute and total dick move. If he’d just let them slug it out, that’s one thing (not as noble as wing-manning Jong-woo, but totally understandable), but to f***ing help Jin-young? Why? What was he going to gain from this? He’s going with Seo-eun, everyone knows those two are a thing, so what’s at stake for him? Is this some machismo nonsense? Does he just like Jin-young better? Whatever the explanation, I fell off the Yoong-jae fence hard. And, were it not for his subsequent date with Seo-eun being, y’know, utterly adorable, I think I’d have tossed him into the pure villain category for the rest of the show. (Instead of just, y’know, frowning at him A LOT.)
 
29D. Just…thank God Jong-woo prevailed. I don’t think I could have survived the days between catching up and the final two if he hadn’t. I’d have ranted myself into an aneurism.
 
29E. But, credit where it’s due, this ridiculous, horrendous fight pit gave us one of the best moments of the series, which was, of course, Se-jun’s “Whatever. I don’t care” as he let the others toss him out. Dude’s an absolute legend. I mean, he was already the one who was wariest of having to do this stupid thing, but then he went and did exactly what I would have, and I was howling over it. (Well, in actuality, I’d probably have climbed out as soon as the match began, but I’m also not as cool as Se-jun, so that’s to be expected.) He’s about sleep and So-e, and the rest of it is just noise. I absolutely love him.
 
29F. Speaking of: did you catch how, when the group is taking pictures at dinner, later on, they go to do a shot of everyone at the table, and Se-jun just keeps on eating? Sure, he could have just been lost in thought, but I like to think he’s only vaguely aware of what everyone around him is doing if it doesn’t involve So-e.
 
30. I’m a little worried about how many of the women seemed to REALLY dig that pit fight, though. At least, going by what they say after. I mean, So-e didn’t seem pleased, I know. Seul-ki was hiding behind Nadine the whole time, but claimed Jin-young “looked cool.” Nadine was like, “That was rad!” which…makes sense in hindsight, I guess, but still. Okay, maybe I’m just curious about how many shots of, like, Se-jeong or Seo-eun looking uncomfortable were edited out. Whatever. It was still awful.
 
31. As its own point, though, the whole fight pit incident had this big upside to it: Jin-young was sort of forced to pick Nadine as his date. And I think we were all certain that this was a better pick for him than Seul-ki—just as she turned out to be for Dong-woo. I mean, yes, she’s too good for either of them, but it’s obvious that she’s a better fit than Seul-ki. And, with no small amount of irony, the one dude we know has a really good relationship with Nadine and, therefore, know is not romantically suited for her is Jong-woo, for whom I think Seul-ki is actually not a bad match at all. (In terms of personality, I mean. We can debate whether an Okie-seeming barista and a near-literal princess have a chance in hell later.) The point being that there seems to be an indirect relationship between Seul-ki and Nadine, when it comes to the romance/not-romance chart, so I was looking forward to the Nadine/Jin-young date.
 
32. Jumping back a little: I know everyone went nuts over Se-jun taking So-e’s hand on the helicopter, but So-e is quite fond of the ol’ arm touch, when she’s feeling…friendly. And no one ever mentions that.
 
33. Which sets up this point that’s easy to overlook: during one of the Se-jun/So-e conversations that follow, he (true to form) worries that she’ll get sunburned and tells her she can go back into her tent, but she tells him that she doesn’t burn easily. But, in a snippet from a little bit earlier, we get So-e sitting next to Nadine and fretting that she’s going to get sunburned. So, the insistence (with Se-jun) that she won’t is totes her saying that she just doesn’t want to stop talking to him! Or…I mean, I guess the previous scene could be more about how long she was sitting out there with Nadine, but I choose to believe it was the other thing!
 
34. I frikkin’ loved Jong-woo’s date with Seul-ki. And I think he mostly manages himself pretty well. (Except for the Polaroid thing, which…which I think is sooooo “Jong-woo” of him that circles right back around from a good to being endearing, so it’s fine.) And, again, Seul-ki is sooooooooooo different, with him. She’s very active and takes the lead and is doing that thing where her excitement is about seeing how excited he is. She’s totally relaxed and comfortable. He’s not playing any games. It’s great.
 
34A. Yes, and the “I’ve seen you before!” moment is terrific.
 
35. On the final day, all the boys are tense as f*** in their tent—except Se-jun, who is sleeping. Because he is the best.
 
36. Oh, and I quite liked how Se-jeong finally revealed to everyone that she was a model, and the whole group was like, “Yeah, that…that makes sense.”
 
36A. The best around-the-fire reaction, though, was to Nadine being a Harvard student. Mostly because of how funny Se-jun was about it.
 
36B. Though, really, watching Jong-woo’s reaction to EVERYTHING was great, because his instincts are so bad about that literally any new piece of information he got was the biggest shock in the world, to him.
 
37. Han-bin stopping by So-e to let her know he liked her best was great. #StrikeoutBuddies
 
38. The routes they set up for certain guys to have to walk past certain girls to get to where they were obviously going was mean. Dramatic, but mean.
 
39. I will never forgive Jin-young for stopping next to Nadine like that. I don’t think she could have looked more picturesque and gorgeous, all windswept in that dress. And he had to be a bag of dicks and stop next to her for an hour. She didn’t seem too thrown by it, but I do wonder if that’s just because she’s awesome. Or if maybe the producers sort of arranged it ahead of time.
 
40. I cheered so, so, soooo loudly when So-e took Se-jun’s hand. Golly, that felt good to see. I mean, those 10 seconds where she seemed to rope-a-dope him into thinking she wasn’t going to go for it (which, having watched this moment 100 times, already, I’m mostly sure is an editing trick) may have literally killed me. But then she giggled, and I could feel my sould slip back into my body. So it was fine.
 
40A. Fun fact: I actually stopped the show after they walked off and thought about not finishing the rest because what could possibly be left, after that?
41. Which brings us to Seul-ki picking Jong-woo and how I was in disbelief over it. I mean, I was thrilled (particularly after Jin-young’s Nadine debacle, moments before), but I couldn’t believe it. I could, of course, because I saw how they were on their date, but I also couldn’t, because the show did such a good job of emphasizing the animal attraction she had for Jin-young that I couldn’t imagine her picking someone else. (Like, did you see how she looked at him as he made his way over to her? She turns into a giggly mess just at the sight of him! That is tough to get past. And good for her for having the strength of character to do it.) What an ending. Just…what an ending.
 
41A. I mean, it’s also possible that a lot of the tension was due to tricks of editing and music, but I’m still pretty sure she was down bad for Jin-young, which (again) is quite the thing to turn away from.
 
And…that’s that.
 
This whole thing was quite the experience. I think I might die, trying to watch another season of this or something like it. My heart can’t take it. (I mean, unless you ask me to, in which case my heart will absolutely take it, and I was just being hyperbolic.)
 
I cannot stress enough how consuming this was, for me. Like, one night, I woke up at 4AM, literally muttering to myself about Single’s Inferno 2 and, as a result, felt compelled to write a poem because of it. I don’t think it’s literally about the show, but it’s damn well steeped in this whole experience. And I’m actually going to share it, here, because f*** it—I told you shame went out the window, so why not?
 
The Fall ( or, Koi )
In the moment just before
gravity takes more than its due,
before all control is lost
to the sweet terror of
weightlessness,
your body will recognize the way of it
but keep it secret,
hiding how prepared you are
for the inevitable.
 
Yeah, so…that’s my little nod to Jong-woo for the letter: a dumb poem. Which you can read and use to think about some other guy, probably. And then, when you come back to work, you can cry a little and I’ll hand you a wet-wipe. It’ll be great.
 
Until then, hope all is well.
 
--Daryl
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
P.S. - I didn’t even bother proofreading this before sending it. Not because I’m lazy, but because I wanted to convey how impassioned I am about this, and a potentially rough-draft feel would probably elicit the same feelings as me trying to remember to breathe as I talked at you for an hour about every single thought I had while watching this show. Definitely not because I am lazy.